We’ve heard it many times that the moment you’ve found out you have a cheating spouse, to not drop the ‘divorce’ bomb straight away. But how do we know if the relationship is even worth saving? How do we know if the problems that have rooted in the relationship are not one of those ‘dead roots’…beyond repair?
First of all, try to look at your marriage honestly and ask yourself the question: do you love your spouse? Is he (or she) still the person you’d hope to spend the rest of your life with? Do you want to spend time with your spouse? Maybe the marriage has lost its spark due to you and your spouse not having enough quality time together. This may lead to him thinking that there’s nothing left in the marriage but mundane chores and day-to-day obligation.
Now, I know this may sound pretty bad, but are you supposed to be married to each other in the first place? Be honest to yourself, did you have doubts when you were walking down the isle? Or are you one of those women who got married only because there was no one else you’d settle for? To answer this, think about your values, goals, interests, what you want in life, are they somewhat matching with what your spouse want in life? Did you kinda ‘force’ the guy to get married because you were going out for too long?
Thirdly, relationship is supposed to grow deeper the longer the marriage is. This is contrary to what people believe i.e. rosy coloured glasses are no longer on or chemistry dies down. Yes, chemistry may not be as strong as when you both were in honeymoon period, but the love you have for each other supposedly would’ve grown beyond the lust. Both will have great understanding towards each other whilst at the same time very comfortable opening up to each other in regards to sensitive feelings as well as innermost thoughts.
Basically, once you know your relationship is actually in order, it’s just it’s hitting a rough patch (or very rough patch when it comes to cheating), you know you’ve got hope.